


One Perfect Thing

by Whyistheskyblue



Series: You Can be My Compass [3]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Character Study, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Child Abuse, Multi, Night Terrors, Past Pepperony, Pre/ongoing Science Boyfriends, Repeated Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyistheskyblue/pseuds/Whyistheskyblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony couldn't bring himself to ruin the one untainted thing in his life and, in the end, only managed to drive her away.<br/><i>Can</i> be read as a stand alone, but will make more sense when read as part of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Perfect Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for someone who goes by WickedValilali, doesn't have an AO3, but always comments with the same name. She's asked repeatedly for the story of what happened to Pepper.

Tony wasn't afraid to admit that it had been a shortcoming on his part that had driven Pepper away. He had fed the press the same line when (repeatedly) asked. What he didn't tell them was that he hadn't cheated on the beautiful woman with younger, prettier, idiotic things (as was the most popular theory). He hadn't been having performance issues due to his blossoming homosexuality (as one reporter had mused after his and Bruce's coming out). It hadn't even been his refusal to take care of himself in the most basic things, such as food or sleep (as was the most practical belief). What had driven them apart was the nightmares and, more importantly perhaps, his refusal to talk about them. 

Tony had one perfect, untainted thing in his life. He didn't want to ruin it. He didn't want Pepper to know he dreamt of being water boarded when he lay in her arms. He didn't want Pepper to know one of the demons that haunted his dreams taunted him with a phone that rang and rang and was never picked up. That he begged her to answer long after he had forgotten why it was important to hear her voice. He couldn't bring himself to tarnish Pepper and in the end, that's why he lost her. 

When he surfaced from a two day bender, it was with Bruce's hands on his shoulders as he emptied his stomach into the toilet. His hands clutched the porcelain like it was his last life line, like it was the only thing that could save him. He told himself it was for the best. That he would only ruin Pepper. That Pepper deserved so much more than a broken man. She deserved someone who would bring her happiness. He knew he wrecked everything he touched. His father had told him that from a early childhood. That he ruined everything. That he would never be good enough. Howard Stark raced through his dreams with a drunken laugh and heavy fists. 

A year later, when Bruce fell onto his couch (but not into his heart, he had already been there) he thought, perhaps a little selfishly, that he couldn't break Bruce. Bruce was already as broken as he was. But, perhaps, the two broken men could come together well enough to mend enough that they could pretend to be normal. Perhaps the two broken scientists could fix each other. At least, that's what they thought when the other shook apart in their arms at night, the words of a nightmare tumbling from their lips. That's what they thought when their smiles began to look a little less haunted, and they slept a little better at night.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know, very short. It's not, however, a major installment to the series, just a little back ground drabble done per request. (No, that doesn't mean I'm taking requests. If you have one, feel free to leave it, but I make no promises.)  
> On the bright side (for me) I have permission from feriowind to turn Resistance is Futile into a short story. That's my next short, and there's a longer story in the making that involves SCIENCE!


End file.
